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Introduction

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Introduction

Post by PastorDan on Tue Jun 14, 2016 1:44 pm

There are four very special kinds of parenting relationships.

Fathers to sons
Fathers to daughters
Mothers to sons
Mothers to daughters

Each one of those relationships is different.

This series of posts will focus on the unique characteristics of the relationship Fathers have with daughters.

Dr. Meg Meeker has written a spectacular book called Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters. In it, she highlights 10 "secrets" that everyone who fathers daughters should learn and understand.

I am the father of two daughters, so I have read (and re-read) this book with great interest. I agree generally with Dr. Meeker on all of her points, so I thought I would share my thoughts with you all. Perhaps you cannot afford the time or money to read her book. I hope this series of posts will help you. And perhaps after reading what I have to say you will want to read her book. I can certainly loan out my copy (to one person at a time!), so feel free to ask. Otherwise follow the link and purchase it yourself. The cost is about $15.

And here are a few thoughts from my reading of the Introduction to the book itself:



No dad is perfect.


Dr. Meeker is honest about her own father's shortcomings. He wasn't very sociable. He was eccentric and quiet. He wasn't a good listener, and was sometimes distracted and aloof. In short, he sounds a lot like me.

But he loved his daughter. And he expressed confidence in her that she was unable to find in herself. His protectiveness made her feel more self-worth than she could have generated without him. In short, her father prepared her for life.

So she wants fathers to know that, "what you say in a sentence, communicate with a smile, or do with regard to family rules has infinite importance for your daughters."

Her book is designed to help us fathers see ourselves through the eyes of our daughters. In her words, "If you could see yourself as (your daughter) sees you, even for ten minutes, your life would never be the same."

Dads are powerful.


A father's power does not come from his skills, character, or excellence. The raw power that every dad wields comes from his dadness. In other words: Dad, you are powerful because you are a dad.

What do you plan to do with your power?

You see, your daughter's world is smaller than yours, not just physically, but emotionally as well. It is more fragile and tender because her character is being kneaded as bread dough on a cutting board. Every day she awakens, your hands pick her up and plop her back down on the board to begin the massage. How you knead, every single day, will change who she is.

Understand that you are at least half of the reason she gets up every morning. You were here first and she came into being because of you. And as Dad, you occupy a center in her world that no other human being ever will.

Loving your daughter might seem complicated to you, but it's very simple to her. Most of what she will gain from you will not be "taught" by you... it will be "caught" from you. And so what you SHOW her about God, sex, humility and a host of other critical life lessons will quite literally set a course for her life. Another way to say it: what you do not show her about life's most important realities will also set her course in life.

It isn't too late.


You may have screwed a few things up.

You may be thinking about these things for the first time today... and your daughter is already in her teens!

But from your daughter's perspective, it is never too late to strengthen her relationship with you. So be bold. Your daughter wants your guidance and support; she wants and needs a strong bond with you. And, as all successful fathers know, you need a strong bond with her.

The rest of this series of topics (really, Dr. Meeker's book) will show you how to strengthen that bond, or rebuild it, and use it to shape your daughter's life - and yours - for the better.
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PastorDan
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