Chapter 1: Dad, You are the most important man in your daughter's life

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Chapter 1: Dad, You are the most important man in your daughter's life

Post by PastorDan on Tue Jun 14, 2016 2:41 pm

Taking nothing away from the incredible work being done by single moms...

Dad is #1

Dad, mothers, daughters and sister need your help to raise healthy young women. Because fathers, more than anyone else, set the course for a daughter's life.

And do it right??? You will experience the love and adoration that can only come from a daughter. You will feel a pride, satisfaction, and joy that you can know nowhere else.

Dads, when you come into the room everything about your daughter changes: their eyes, their mouths, their gestures, their body language. Daughters are never lukewarm in the presence of their fathers. They hang on your words. They watch you intently. And they hope for your attention, your approval, your encouragement, or any form of contact from you... they need to know that you care and are willing to help.

In short, nobody will shape your daughter's character more than you.

It can feel like Dad is not #1


Especially when girls hit their teen years, dads can feel like they don't have much influence. But they do.

And despite your best efforts, your daughter will "grow up too soon". "Little girl" clothes are hard to find. Boys will be watching as she grows breasts even as young as age nine. And she is going to see things and learn things she has no business knowing WAY before you want her to.

When your daughter hits fifth or sixth grade, she will learn what oral sex is. She may have already encountered someone engaged in it. She may have already encountered a well-meaning school teacher who prides him/herself on speaking openly about sex determined to break the taboo...

Here are the guidelines written by the SIECUS (Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States) for children ages five to eight:


  • Touching and rubbing one's own genitals to feel good is called masturbation.

  • Some men and women are homosexual, which means that they will be attracted to and fall in love with someone of the same sex.


And for children ages nine to twelve:


  • Masturbation is often the first way a person experiences sexual pleasure.

  • Being sexual with another person usually involves more than sexual intercourse.

  • Homosexual love relationships can be as fulfilling as heterosexual relationship.


And for children ages twelve to fifteen:


  • Masturbation, either alone or with a partner, is one way people can enjoy and express their sexuality without risking pregnancy or STDs/HIV.

  • Having a legal abortion rarely interferes with a woman's ability to become pregnant or give birth in the future.

  • Some sexual behaviors shared by partners include kissing, touching, caressing, massaging, and oral, vaginal, or anal intercourse.

  • In most states, young people can get prescriptions for contraception without their parents' permission.


And for children ages fifteen to eighteen:


  • Some people use erotic photographs, movies, or literature to enhance sexual fantasies when alone or with a partner.

  • Some sexual fantasies involve mysterious or forbidden things.

  • People can find creative and sensual ways to integrate contraception into their sexual relationship.


Yes. These are the advised teaching points for children under 16. And if you are sending your child to public school, you do not have the option to keep your child away from these lessons. If one of your school's teachers is teaching them, he or she has made the decision for you about how soon to talk to your child about sex.

And we haven't spoken yet about drugs.

Nor have we spoken about what she is seeing on TV. Educate yourself about that. In short, roughly three-fourths of the shows your little girl sees have sexual content.

So it can feel like Dad's don't have too much actual control.

Dad, you are your daughter's ideal man


The book lists many more statistics about media use, alcohol use, depression, and more. The statistics are stark. We must not leave our daughters' maturity to the world and the culture... we must take the lead role in helping them grow up.

And so your daughter will take cues from YOU FIRST on everything from drug use, drinking, deliquency, smoking, and having sex, to self-esteem, moodiness, and seeking attention from boys.

When you are with her the quality and stability of her life improves immeasurably. Even if you think the two of you operate on different planes, the clinical fact is that you are giving your daughter the greatest gifts when you are simply with her.

And she will view this time spent differently than you do. She is absorbing more from you than you can possibly control. And so when she is 25, she will mentally size her boyfriend or husband up against you. In fact, for the remainder of her life, certain things will be true about her because of you.

The main point of this first chapter is simply this:
Fathers, spend time with your daughters.
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PastorDan
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Re: Chapter 1: Dad, You are the most important man in your daughter's life

Post by BenZ on Wed Jun 29, 2016 1:45 pm

Wow, it's very scary to think that my daughters are absorbing more from me than I can possibly control, but I'm sure it's true. I just hope it's more good than bad. It's funny that I just read this post today because my daughter, Paige, and I are going on a date tonight. Since she was three years old we have been getting dressed up "fancy" and going on special dates, just her and I. In my head I hope that I am setting the bar for dating very high and showing her how special she is. Hopefully it sticks with her always.
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Re: Chapter 1: Dad, You are the most important man in your daughter's life

Post by PastorDan on Wed Jun 29, 2016 1:58 pm

Awesome idea: taking your daughter out on a "date".

The reason I love this idea so much is that it sets the "standard" for what a "date" is in your daughter's mind.

In other words, it teaches her what a "date" actually is.

When Dad takes me out on a date, we talk about important things, he treats me with respect, he takes good care of me, and we get home on time.

Now when she gets older, if someone treats her differently when he takes her on a "date", she'll know right away...
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